So, Hurricane Irma came and went, and she took every excuse for me to binge-eat packaged foods while watching the rain. I mean, I needed to stock up (my body) in case we lost power and modern civilization and I had to live off my fat supply, right? That’s just common sense.
Unfortunately, a complete loss of routine means that I didn’t visit my favorite land of childcare (i.e. The Gym) for a week and a half. Now, if you’re not a gym-goer, yes, please feel free to roll your eyes. I’ve never enjoyed the gym…until it came complete with childcare. Now, I’m like, “Let’s get everyone dressed! Don’t you want to go play at the gym??” Thankfully, my kids do seem to enjoy the outing (once Olivia gets over the silent scream-crying as she watches Mama waltz out the door toward the locker room with a “good luck!” grin at the worker).
So, if you ever spot red-faced, dripping Mama trudging along on the treadmill with her Couch to 5K app and think to yourself “What is that hot piece of Spandex listening to?”, well, you’re about to find out, my friends. Count yourself as part of the In Crowd.
Rules for songs on Mama’s playlist:
- The song MUST start quickly. Mama can’t be close to collapsing and hear a slow build-up to a new song. I need something peppy and/or angry, and I need it now!
- The best songs to motivate a higher heart rate are angry and angsty.
- The best songs to inspire air-guitaring are spunky and sassy. Side Note: Be careful while air-guitaring on a treadmill. You may stumble if you get too caught up in the magic. Also, watch where you are swinging your arms, because if you hit your headphone cord, your phone will go flying and make a loud, awkward thunking noise. Learn from my wisdom.
Mama’s Killer Treadmill Playlist
Train – 50 Ways to Say Goodbye. Mariachi band, spunky beat, angsty break-up theme, distinct air-guitar possibilities.
Matthew West – Anything is Possible. Even a healthier (i.e. skinnier) body!
Glee – Bust a Move. For the record, I don’t promote ever watching the show, but I do like to bust a move.
Trolls Soundtrack – Can’t Stop the Feeling. Is there any mom out there NOT singing this song right now? On repeat? Thanks for this, JT.
Andy Grammar – Honey, I’m Good. Y’all. This is my go-to when the kids are cranky. Olivia immediately starts pumping her chubby baby arms to the beat. And, yes, I try to sing over Andy’s use of “the A word” using the Mama-approved “booty”. Also, the morals are a tad questionable, but he does go home to his woman instead of home with the woman of dubious morals and intentions.
Anthem Lights – Love You Like the Movies. OK, OK, this one does start out a bit slow. However, it’s sweet and makes me happy, which, let’s be honest, we all need when running in place.
TobyMac – Move (Keep Walkin’). Actually, pretty much anything by TobyMac. He cool.
Taylor Swift – Shake It Off. Hasn’t she come a long way? This is song #2 when the kiddos are angry. You do you, T-Swizzle. You do you.
MercyMe – Shake. So, there are a LOT of things shaking when Mama is pounding the (fake) pavement on the treadmill. Seems appropriate. And peppy.
Walk the Moon – Shut Up and Dance. I SO want to play this for my kids, but I know, without a doubt, George will start saying “shut up,” as he already lovingly tells Mama to “stop talking.”
Avril Lavigne – Sk8er Boi. Hello, high school! Remember what I said about angst? It doesn’t get much angstier than Avril.
Francesca Battistelli – This is The Stuff. Y’all. Let’s keep perspective. That extra five (10, 15) pounds is just stuff. There are bigger things in life (no pun intended!).
Dwayne Johnson – You’re Welcome (Moana soundtrack, obvs). Again, is there any mom out there who isn’t humming this soundtrack constantly? Basically, I love, love, love how The Rock gets sassy in this ditty.
Rend Collective – You Will Never Run. Seems fitting for a running playlist. Also, it speaks truth. Also, also, they’re from North Ireland, so they have fun accents.
Anna Kendrick – Get Back Up Again (Trolls soundtrack). Basically, just download the entire soundtrack and get a’movin’. P.S. My kids have never seen this movie, but I listen to the soundtrack constantly.
Glee Cast – Don’t Stop Believin’. Don’t stop believing, sweaty, out-of-breath Mama! Hold on to that feeeeeeelin’ (of the endorphin rush after the gym)!
And there you have it. I have no idea if this playlist actually works since I’m only on week two of Couch to 5k (more couch than 5k at this point…). However, it does help to feel sassy and a little angsty when Spandex Barbie is prancing along on the treadmill next to me. Because why are we all at the gym? To work on our bodies! (Even Little Miss Perfect Bod).
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