Mama Seeking New Friends with Skills

I know this may come as a shock, but I’ve never been overly popular.

Yes, I know you’d expect more from the woman lazing on her couch in Christmas pjs the night before a major holiday typing a blog post.

It’s true, though. I always fancied myself as a middle-of-the-roader, popularity-wise. I wasn’t as bad(ly?) off socially as some kids, but I wasn’t called on the weekends by the “popular” crowd either. Then again, I graduated in a class of 28, so I should devote another post to “what does ‘popular’ mean, anyway?”.

Now that I’ve hit the middle-agedness of early life (or was that 20?), I’ve settled into my skin. God graciously blessed us with a fabulous group of fellow young parentals at our church. I also seem to constantly run into other moms on playgrounds or other communal gathering areas, thereby securing play dates and kid-wrangling activities for future appointments.

I can talk to a stranger. And, more so, I like talking to strangers. Just ask my introverted husband…or the little, old lady at the grocery store. We chat often.

It’s such a blessing in my life to have friends to call when I need something, like my kid has pink eye or the baby’s umbilical cord came off waaay too early (true story!). I hope I can give back, as well. I do have a few gaps in my social life, though, so I thought I’d post a notice that I’m looking for new friends with particular sets of skills.

 

Napoleon Dynamite
All right, Napoleon, we’re getting closer. I’m not sure what I’d do with bow-hunting skills, but computer-hacking skills could prove interesting.

Here are the fields I have covered in my incredibly talented circle of people (or their husbands): nursing (suuuper important–my feelings on befriending nurses), dentistry, ophthalmology, woodworking, construction, pharmacy, teaching, photography, lawyers, insurance, financial, engineering, and the insane knowledge of stay-at-home moms.

I gave you that list for two reasons. One, I don’t want to offend my current friends and make them think I’m looking for replacement people. And, two, so you can see what’s been taken. Nurses need not apply simply because you’re a nurse, though I will take you on as a lovely, new friend.

What I’m looking for now are skilled people I can win over with my charming personality and adorable children, bring into the fold, then utilize for their skills. Does that sound a bit selfish? Let’s just pretend they end up adoring me as well, so it’s a win-win.

What follows is a list of professionals I’d like to befriend (and when I say “befriend,” I’m looking for cell-phone numbers, late-night-call potential, and invites to kids’ birthday parties).

  1. Dermatologist – I think this one speaks for itself. I also would like this to be a woman, not a friend’s husband. Because that could get awkward.
  2. Chef – Seriously. I need someone nearby who adores cooking and never tires of throwing dinner parties. I’ll host! A baker would also be acceptable.
  3. Hairdresser – My sweet sister-in-law is a talented hairdresser, but she lives in Alabama. Mama’s hair gets too shaggy and ponytail-worthy to get by on haircuts three-ish times a year.
  4. Fashion buyer – My mom’s friend’s sister was a fashion buyer, and she would shower her family members with free clothes, bathing suits, you name it. That would be waaay too much fun.
  5. Housekeeper – Y’all. I could use a gal on speed dial who knows how to fix any stain, mess, or spatter in my house. My kids are under 4 years old. They do love a good spill.

OK, I feel like these are sounding very shallow. I mean, I already have a pastor, an amazing Bible teacher in his wife, and a group of Bible-study ladies, so the spiritual social life is covered. Also, my brother is a pastor, so I’ve definitely got that speed-dialed. I’m also blessed with a husband who seems to have a basic, working (accurate!) knowledge on nearly every topic on the planet (except pop culture. Don’t ask him about celebrities).

If you could befriend someone in a helpful profession, what would you choose? Does no one else think this way? Just me?

P.S. Seriously, though, I could use a good dermatologist on speed dial. Preferably one who doesn’t freak out (i.e. charge me or block me) if I send photos of my kids’ weird rashes…

For more Mama, follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

 

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