Moving Is Exactly Like Having A Baby

Hypothesis: The process of moving directly correlates with the process of reproducing.

Test with experiment: Have children, then move out of state.

Analyze data

The public’s reaction.

Pregnant – When you begin telling people you’re pregnant with your first child, you get a lot of attention. And you deserve a lot of attention, as this is the biggest life-changer coming your way. And, no, I don’t think your wedding day competes with the day you push a human out of your body.

Moving – When you begin telling people you’re moving, you get more attention than usual. Suddenly, everyone has something to ask you about! You find yourself telling strangers waaay too much information about the details of your move.

Purchasing and assembling new furniture.

Pregnant – The crib, the car seat, the highchair (which you won’t realize you won’t need for, like, eight months), the changing table, the rock ‘n play, etc., etc., etc.

Moving – “Oh, honey! There’s an IKEA within driving distance of our new house! I’ll just pop by for a few (hundred) hours and come home with a tidal wave of cardboard boxes and indecipherable instruction manuals!”

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What I was doing instead of assembling furniture…

The social events.

Pregnant – When preggers, you get the baby showers. The gasps of joy over tiny onesies and the nods of approval when you pull the butt paste out of the gift bag. People get excited to celebrate you and your upcoming life change. Conversation revolves around your burgeoning belly and guests’ personal birthing horror stories.

Moving– When moving, you get the going-away parties. People still look at you with those big eyes and the head tilts, but they’re more melancholy. Conversation revolves around your big move and how much you’ll be missed.

The Big Event.

Pregnant – Ouch. “We see the head!” More Ouch. Ouchie Ouch. Sweet relief. More ouch-ouch-outchity-ouch.

Moving – Pack. “Be careful with that!” More packing. Packity-pack. Tape-tape. Lots of strained muscles and cardboard-cut fingers.

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The Coming Home.

(Post) Pregnant – Whoo! Picture by the front door, while holding baby. Much relief. Some apprehension. Extra guests.

(Post) Moving – Whoo! Picture by the front door, while holding key and/or standing by “sold” sign. Much relief. Some apprehension. Movers all around.

The back-to-normal routine.

(Post) PregnantWhat is the new normal? Am I responsible enough to keep a tiny human alive? Is this what “adulting” feels like? Too much Googling is freaking me out. 

(Post) MovingWhat is the new normal? Am I responsible enough to manage this house? Am I finally “adulting?” Google Maps is the only way I can find the grocery store. 

The Radio Silence.

(Post) Pregnant – Um, OK, where is everyone? I don’t need “alone time” anymore. I could use a friendly face. Hello, Facebook, I’m glad I can still feel connected through you.

(Post) MovingWhen will I start getting texts again? It’s hard to keep long-distance friends when we don’t have geographic proximity in common anymore. How long does it take to find new friends? Maybe if I get a few local Facebook friends, I’ll feel more connected and remembered.

Data Examination: I understand this one. I really do. I’ve had friends move away, and I’ve given them plenty of “space” while they accomplish the move. But then there’s always the cliff on the other side—when you feel completely disconnected. I have no idea what to text with friends about because we’re not in the same sphere anymore. And the move is over, so we can’t really talk about that. Yes, we’re settled. Yes, we like South Carolina. Yes, I absolutely still want to be your friend. Yes, I’m not sure what that looks like.

Re-emerging in public.

(Post) Pregnant – “How old is your baby?? I can’t believe you’ve managed to leave the house!”

(Post) Moving – “You’ve been here how long? (Look of bewilderment)”

Data Examination: This one has been funny to me. After mentioning we’ve only been in town for a week and a half, people get this shocked look. Is it so hard to believe we’re out and about after such a short time? Am I supposed to be hibernating in my mountain of cardboard boxes? Can’t they read the social desperation in my eyes? When I had tiny babies, I refused to be intimidated by taking them into public situations. I feel the same way with moving. I’m going to explore this town, goshdurnit, and I’ll small talk with anyone who gets in my way!

The New Normal.

(Post) Pregnant – You find your mom tribe. You receive invitations to playdates and mommy groups. You commiserate on the playground about tantrums, potty training, picky toddlers, sleepless nights, etc. You look back and realize you kinda/maybe/sorta have a grip on this parenting thing.

(Post) Moving – You find your new tribe. You receive invitations for lunch, coffee, girls’ nights. You commiserate about all the details of life. You look back and realize you finally feel rooted in your new home.

Conclusion: My hypothesis proves true. (I was told by my husband, who is a legit scientist, that a hypothesis can’t include the word “proves.” Well, I’m a legit writer, and I can wield the English language however I darn well please! …Using appropriate grammar and tenses, of course!)

Currently Reading:
With This Pledge by Tamera Alexander – Does everyone pick a book by its cover? Well, I picked up Tamera Alexander’s A Note Yet Unsung on a whim after spotting it on a library shelf. I’ve read enough Christian fiction to be able to spot one a mile away. It was an enjoyable read, and I recently noticed Mrs. Alexander released this novel in 2019. It’s set in the Civil War, so I’m expecting some ugly. I’m only on chapter two, but so far, so good!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Laura says:

    Loved this! We moved exactly one month and four days ago — only 30 miles from doorstep to doorstep so the separated by geography thing isn’t there but dang, are there boxes. So many boxes. But always time to grab a cup of coffee and get some fresh air. Good luck!

    Like

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