OK, are we on week three or four? My husband and I discussed this over takeout Italian, but we couldn’t come to a quick conclusion. I think we’re starting week four?
You know, I’ve left the house a handful of times (grocery store, bank drive-thru, restaurant pick-up), but the only thing outside our house my children have seen is the Chick-fil-a drive-thru. Weirdly, they still don’t seem to notice.
About a week ago (I think? What day is today?), I started a list in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” schtick.
And so, you might be social distancing if…
- Your husband puts on real clothes in the morning. It’s the sure-fire sign he has a video meeting with his boss. On your in-bedroom computer. So you should slink out of bed now so the boss doesn’t see you.
- Your dryer is full of wrinkled work clothes because you dig past them to find yoga pants and shlubby T-shirts.
- Your to-be-read (TBR) book pile gets a lot more attention now that libraries are closed.
- At the bank drive-thru, you gaze longingly as the middle-aged man in the truck next to you because you may just start up a conversation. After all, extroverts need attention too!
- Your house smells like coffee 24/7. And, unfortunately, you aren’t one of those “I don’t like the taste, but I love the smell!” people, so you’re tired of smelling the burnt garbage water your husband needs throughout the workday.
- You think you’re pulling off that “natural beauty” look, as you haven’t worn make up for three weeks…until you see your face in a Zoom video chat.
What else can you add to my list, reader? You might be social distancing if… (let me know in the comments below!)
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The Wooden Prince by John Claude Bemis – I attended one of Mr. Bemis’ workshops at an SCBWI writers’ conference last year. He gave such a fantastic presentation and great advice that I bought his retelling of Pinocchio. It’s been sitting in my TBR pile ever since, so now is the perfect time to give it a try.